Lovely Followers

Monday 8 March 2010

Hair Today, Gone tomorrow

This is a very hard post to write because it's a subject people just don't like to talk about, however it's quite important to me. It's been noticed on my YouTube videos that I have thinning hair. Well it's true, my hair is very thin, it sometimes makes me very unhappy and frustrated but I have to come to terms with it and get on with my life. This post is for anyone also struggling to meet expectations that other people have of us.

I've been losing my hair since I was 18. I was diagnosed with a not very rare disease in my early twenties. Hypothyroidism is where your body produces too little of a metabolic hormone which gradually makes you anaemic and exhausted. The opposite condition is Hyperthyroidism where too much of this hormone (thyroxine) makes your heart race and eyes bulge and lose weight dangerously quickly. Your thyroid and pituitary glands are parts of this regulatory circuit, for reasons medical science can't explain or cure, mine don't really work that well.

After feeling sluggish and unwell for years, I finally went to my doctor and had blood tests to confirm it. That was ten years ago so I am lucky, I was diagnosed early. My mother was in her 50s when she was diagnosed. We both now take medication which has no side effects and controls it completely.

Part of this disease, which not everyone has, is that my immune system makes antibodies which attack hair follicles. So my hair falls out faster than it grows. No one knows why some people get this and others don't, my mother doesn't have it. There is no treatment for this that doesn't involve immunosuppressants (which would leave me open to life threatening infections, that isn't worth it!) For others, the thyroxine hormone treatment restores their hair. This hasn't happened for me which is unfortunate.

According to specialists, I will never go bald as my hair grows normally. But my hair will always be thin and patchy. As time goes on, it gets worse. I think the time will come soon when I have to do something. Part of me just feels like shaving my hair off now rather than make the decision later on!

It's not easy for anyone who has lost their hair, through illness, accident or genetics. I used to model as a teenager, my hair was so thick that it used to break bands and the odd brush handle! I once had my hair done on stage and most of it had to be done behind the scenes as it took so long! So it's been very hard for me to come to terms with this condition.

It's ok for men to lose their hair, it is part of their ageing process. For women it is very different, our hair is part of our femininity and because it's quite rare to see a bald woman, we are made to feel inferior, less feminine and a failure.

I'd like to know what people leaving comments hope to achieve by pointing it out as if I don't know?

YouTube Comment:"You are nearly bald"
Answer "And what would you like me to do about this that I haven't already tried? Hmm?"

This person was so disgusted with the realisation that I was far from perfect, that they unsubscribed to my YouTube channel! That made me feel just great.

I wonder if they want me to scurry under a rock never to be seen again just because it offends them that this balding woman is called a beauty guru? I must also stress that I don't want pity, just understanding, after all it's only hair.

All I ask is that before leaving mean comments FOR ANYONE, put yourselves in their position. They are just as human as you are and just as easy to upset and hurt. I am older and wiser and it takes a lot to rile me. Some YouTubers are teenagers and so take comments to heart. If you still feel the need to type before you think, go ahead, I have nothing to be ashamed of and I will not be made to feel inadequate for something I can do nothing about.

A bit more info on hypothyroidism from this UK Website

43 comments:

  1. I know how it feels (really :-( )and it's great to know that YOU are okay with it. That's the most important point. One of the things I really like about Youtube beauty gurus is exactly that - the fact that they are not perfect, they just KNOW things we are interested in. You go girl!

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  2. Dear OxfordJasmine,

    It is very brave of you to post about this, and I applaud you for it. It is perhaps one of the most difficult things a woman in particular can go through- and unfortunately I know from experience, because I have polycystic ovary syndrome and I am 22 and have thin, patchy hair that up til about a year or two ago was perfectly normal. Except for trying to get my hormones in balance and maintaining the hair I already have, it is unlikely that my hair will ever be like it once was, as you said. So I can sympathize with you entirely, although you are much braver than me because you don't let it stop you from making wonderful videos for thousands of people to see.

    I have been told that peppermint or rosemary oils massaged into the hair with a base oil such as olive oil can help stimulate latent follicles. I haven't been using this for very long so I can't say anything for sure, but for the time being I'm just trying to give my hair as much volume on top as I can, so it's not so obvious how thin it is.

    I will tell you, in all honesty, that I never noticed you having this problem in your videos. Friends who I have complained to about my problem said the same thing, so I think it is hardest for ourselves because we are very conscious of it. I look forward to seeing many more of your videos, and thank you for being such a sharing, thoughtful guru!

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  3. Thank you for writing this. It's a brave thing to post. All too often we are scrutinised for the way we look and people judge without knowing someone’s background. I too have thinning hair caused b a different illness and I am extremely paranoid about it. Unfortunately mine leaves me with big bald patches on the top and sides of my head which are sometimes difficult to cover but strangers think nothing of staring or commenting if I’ve not been able to cover it up well one day or the wind blows my carefully styled hair. I laugh comments off but it is actually is really really hurtful as there’s nothing I can do about it that I haven’t already tried and it really does get me down some days. Who wants to be going bald at the age of 27!?

    I just wish people wouldn’t judge quite so much as they do. I’d much rather people asked me if there is something wrong with my hair rather so I could explain about it rather than them making unnecessary hurtful comments, but then the people that do comment on it are usually very childish, immature girls rather than adults so I can only hope that one day they will grow up and learn that no-one is prefect and we all have differences that make us interesting!

    Have you tried taking sea kelp tablets?

    x

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  4. Jasmine - what a super rbave and honest post - I too have an underactive thyroid and whilst I do lose some hair - think hamsters in the plughole :( My hair grows so quick it seems to make up for it - I am so sorry that people have been so ignorant on your you tube channel - it makes me mad that people are so judgmental - the same people wouldn't say things to your face so why do it that way - I blog and do you tube and have recieved some mean comments too I have facial palsy which means some of the nerves / muscles in my face are paralysed and my mouth and eyes have a weakness and my smile is uneven . Some of the comments quite frankly were pathetic but I want to show that we are what we are and even people without model looks can love beauty and make up and feel good about themselves. Keep on keeping on honey you are fabulous and soo talented and I love watching you don't take the evil comments to heart xxx
    Oh almost forget have you ever tried the Ojon Restorative Treatment that made a bit of a difference to my hair and my mums (who also has thyroid problems) even my hairdresser noticed a difference in the strength xx

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  5. Hi Jasmine,

    Hats off to you for doing such a courageous post. I also feel disgusted by the attitude of those people who are so damn stuck to such futile aspects of life. Don't just bother. Losing hair or any such physical attributes due to health conditions are not anyones doing. It is just a way of nature.

    You are such a lovely person and a talented makeup artist.Keep up the lovely work you do and move ahead..

    I am with you!!

    HAPPY WOMENS DAY!!

    Love

    Poornima

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  6. I'm so sorry to hear that people have been so rude to you. That's just disgusting, it's obvious they just wanted to hurt you and it's wonderful that you've been brave enough to address it in such a sensible way. When i was young i had a Nanny who had Alopecia but i didn't find out for years because she wore a wig. Once we went on holiday with her and because she would be swimming my mum sat me down to explain to me. They thought i migh have been frightened by my Nanny's bald head, it's so sad they thought like that, i couldn't have cared less. You're a stunningly beautiful woman. I honestly never even noticed you had thinning hair. You are a strong, beautiful and brave woman and don't ever forget that.

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  7. Firstly I have never noticed at all ... I've always thought you have utterly gorgeous hair! Secondly, I just want to join with the others who've congratulated you on such a courageous and honest post - I have a couple of thinner patches from where I used to hair pull (I know it's self inflicted but yeah ....) and it can be really hard to not feel self concious. You are gorgeous xx

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  8. Well done for writing this post. I find it hard to comprehend how some people feel it is appropriat to leave such cruel comments. But sadly, there are all too many mean people out there that seem to think that saying unkind things to others is reasonable. It isn't and I think it is fabulous that you have gone out there to say it in such a brave way.

    I for one have never noticed your hair thinning, I think you are gorgeous and have a head of hair that is very enviable!

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  9. Thankyou for putting this out there. Personally I have never noticed any thinning of your hair - I'm far too busy enjoying your videos!

    People have high expectations. Do they think they are being helpful by pointing out your flaws? Or are they just being mean?

    I get it all the time with my psoriasis: "Oh my god - did you know how disgusting your hands are?"
    Well, no, I didn't actually, so thankyou for taking the time out to make me feel like crap.

    Ignore them. People say stuff on the internet they would never dream of vocalising anywhere else. But if you want me to go get 'em by flashing my "disgusting" hands in their face, just let me know ;)

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  10. What a great post, as always.

    I can honestly say I hadn't noticed this at all, but well done for speaking out about it.

    Some people are just very angry and find it easier to pick on someone else, than look within, I hope that the people who have upset you read this post and find some compassion.

    Beauty comes from within :) Thank you for this very informative post. xx

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  11. I can't believe someone would be so hurtful.
    I've never noticed your hair is thinning to be honest, you have beautiful shiny hair and it looks lovely.
    I'm sorry to hear someone's been nasty about you, you don't deserve it at all.
    Sorry you've had to put up with this condition. I have a rare bladder condition which can get me down so I know how you feel. I hope you're ok xxx

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  12. Hi Jasmine,
    Please don't let this bother you; the vast majority of people love your blogs and Youtube tutorial videos and find them a huge help. People can be so nasty and jealous towards those who have been successful. Keep up the brilliant work you're doing!

    Love,
    Alice xxx

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  13. Jasmine I never noticed your hair thinning. You are a beautiful person inside and out so hair does not matter. People have to pick on people especially when they know that the person they are picking on has a much better life than them. You have a wonderful life and people are going to hate, but there are more people who love your channel and what you represent. Stay the sweet person that you are and hopefully the haters will move on and get a life.

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  14. What an honest, lovely post! Do you know what, I genuinely didn't notice anything negative about your hair because I think you are truly beautiful inside and out and I love your youtube videos! :) I think you speak so eloquently also! My mum also suffered with hair loss due to hormones and is on medication for life due to her thyroid problems so although I don't understand how you feel I have some idea. I on the other hand, have an opposite problem! I have polycistic ovarian syndrome which has unfortunately they think has caused a certain degree of hirsuitism which I find very upsetting and embarassing! It isn't anything major but it gets me down that I grow hair on my chin and neck and upper lip, and no amount of plucking seems to get rid of it all! I am only 23 and it makes me miserable to be getting excess hair in places that people can see! :( Anyway, sorry for talking about myself, it's rude and selfish of me! Please don't take others comments to heart! You are lovely and people who put you down are insecure idiots!
    lots lof love
    Laura xxx

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  15. There are too many people to reply to in one comment but I just wanted to say thank you to you all for your support, I am here for you in return.

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  16. Jasmine, I utterly love your blog and youtube videos. As a desi girl, I understand the pressures for a thick mane, its really not just a feminine but a desi demand. Like many of the other commenters, I also never ever noticed your thinning hair. I always noticed your makeup skills and glowing skin (its so beautiful!). Please keep your head up and don't fret the small stuff. At least you are putting yourself out there. I have had acne on my cheeks my whole life, and although I love to blog, I am too scared to put up full-face pictures because of mean commenters like the one you got. You are much braver than most, and your advice is valuable to me, and many other fans. Please keep it up and best wishes to you.

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  17. Jasmine... do excuse my french but... F*ck them!
    I think you 're beautiful and intelligent, one of my favourite people to watch!

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  18. My sister has thyroid and its something fairly new to us, shes our baby sis and its hard because she is trying to understand it and come to terms with all the effects and etc.

    anyway what i want to say is that i admire your braveness and we can see from this that you are a strong person. Dont let anyone get to you xxx

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  19. Aw hun everyone in my family has crappy thin hair, no reason at all just the way it is, thats why I always wear my clip ins now for youtube so nobody says anything mean! Ppl will say mean things about anything, it's just a reflection on what a complete tit they are, you are a gorgeous and lovely person with great videos and blog posts and they are just jealous and pathetic xx

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  20. Jasmine, you're so amazing for sharing this with us. You're an inspiration!

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  21. you are a lovely person Jasmine and I love your invaluable skills :) Dont let ignorant people get to you and stay strong as you are. To be honest I never noticed anything besides your amazing skills, skin and your lovely voice!

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  22. There are too many cretins in the WWW. They feel always better, smarter and prettier. What is wrong with them??? Dying brain cells? ;-) Jasmine, I haven't noticed that you suffer from the same disease like me as I actually love your hair. I wish mine was so full but it became thin in my early 20s. Anyways, there's a life beside hair and beauty. We as mature 30 something women know this but some people are just blind and dump. It's amazing that you have the guts to talk about it as it seems to be that hypothyriodism and its effects are still a no-no or taboo in our society. But it's important to deal with it as everyone can suffer from it. So thanks so much for being brave!

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  23. I must say, I never noticed either...!
    I do sorta understand how you feel, my hair is pretty weak and I 've never had a strong hairline, although that's genetic in my case (noone in my family has ever had plenty of strong thick hair)...
    I do agree that hair is a huge part of feeling feminine, in fact it's more important than boob size to me...lol!

    What I find infuriating is that this person unsubscribed...!!! What the hell, did they expect that they could just insult you and you not reply? Sad pathetic excuse for a human being I say!

    Don't let an asshole make you feel bad about being less than perfect, we 're all flawed, but we 're all unique! And hey, it is just hair in the end, there's far more severe illnesses out there and we should all feel grateful!

    xoxo

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  24. Hey Jasmine.. Frankly like a lot of others mentioned earlier I too have never noticed any thinning of yr hair. Yr face is just so radiant :)

    & U to me, have lived up to the quote I just read yesterday: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

    You are a brave girl and I am filled with a lot of respect for you as person. I earlier just respected u for yr awesome makeup skills, now I respect you because u revel in your beauty & uniqueness and don't let anyone get u down.. U r an inspiration :)

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  25. Never ever would have noticed or known that about you! Sorry to hear it upsets you, but literally I doubt anyone would notice unless they are actively searching for a mean thing to say and try that one for size. Getting mean comments means you've made it though. I've never had any mean comments, sob! xx

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  26. That was such a brave post! You deserve a batch of cupcakes! I really hope it doesn't get much worse for you honey and that the dr's figure something out. I lost a lot of my hair in my first few years in London. I think it was mostly stress and also my body has never gotten used to the lack of sunlight over here in comparison to Australia. It's mostly grown back but will always be fine and thin. It's not nice to have these things pointed out to you. Please don't let those people get you down. There are so many of us out here that just love you!
    Rebecca x

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  27. Aren't some people vile? Youtube is SO like that though. I use it to listen to music and people generally just enjoy the artists and comment favourably on what it means to them but that doesn't suit some people who just try to spoil it by posting negative/spiteful/sick comments.

    Evidently someone who rather envies you for your abilities, looks, creativity etc has decided to try to undermine you out of spite. How very ill-mannered and thoughtless at best and malicious at worst.

    The hair-thing is a s0d though. I had a very good friend who took thyroxine and her hair was rather thin - if I stop to think about it. Trouble is that there isn't a woman out there who doesn't beat herself up about her appearance in some way or other....I'm no Penelope Cruz/Kate Winslet/Gwen Stefani and never will be but I still have a happy marriage and I hope your life is essentially a good one too! Best wishes.

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  28. @Hilla, thank you for your lovely comment, it's good to be appreciated!

    @Emily I am sorry to hear that you too have been affected by hair loss.


    @miss*H It can sometimes make me want to curl up and die because eventually it is noticed, doesn't matter how lovely my make up or clothes are.
    thank you for suggesting Sea Kelp which contains iodine which is good for the thyroid but won't do anything for the hair loss which is autoimmune system problem.


    @Louise I am really pleased that your hair is not suffering despite your thyroid! Making YT videos is your way of getting
    yourself out there, people soon forget those things we are paranoid about and see that you're a good person. That's all that
    really matters. What is your channel, I'd love to subscribe.

    @G.G.G Hats off, no no no I keep my hat on to hide my thin hair!! LOL. As I said
    above to Louise, it's what's inside that counts!

    @Lillian Funny Face Thanks for your story and wise words!

    @Emily Thank you for sharing your story about hair pulling. How did you break the cycle?

    @Beautyjunkielondon Shallow people are cruel, but it's natures way of warning us off from them! I bet they have few friends...

    @Helen (Nice Things) Oi, no hand flapping, you might break one of your gorgeous envy-creating nails!! Thank you xx

    @computergirl you're welcome, thanks for commenting!

    @lauren Loves I believe in what goes around comes around, so they will get theirs.

    @Alice I see what you're saying, and it makes sense. Jealousy can bring out the worst in people!

    @Tantalising Eyez Thanks :)

    @scouselovesmakeup Consider saving up for laser, I had it about 7 years ago, best money ever spent. No sideburns, chin or upper lip hair!

    @Ashwini Yes Desis are the worst for it and seem to know no boundaries when mentioning it to your face.

    @Ulee thank you for your french words of wisdom!!

    @Inner Belle I am happy to report that apart from hair loss and dry skin, your sister will be fine and lead
    a normal life with no problems as long as she takes the meds and keeps up with her monitoring blood tests. It really
    isn't that bad, no side effects from the medication and no long term damage to your health.

    @Sarah x Thanks, clips ins are a godsend! xx

    @Dazzledust I am loving your new hair colour! You make a flaming good red head! xx

    @mylanqolia It's so interesting to find out that others have it too!

    @tina_mbc thanks xx

    @tanverr Parmar Your quote is one I've held dear for a long time xx

    @Gail You're so right, but honestly what could anyone say about you that is negative!?x

    @Rebecca You know I love your peanut butter and chocolate cupcakes! xx

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  29. @jaljen, my husband doesn't notice and I doubt that a bit more hair would make him love me more, so you're right! xxx

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  30. I'm not sure what it is about sea kelp that makes it work but it is brilliant at helping hair growth. I've definately noticed a difference. Maybe worth a try?

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  31. @miss*H Autoimmune diseases don't respond in the same way a normal person's will. Taking iodine for someone with a normal thyroid will be useful. Taking iodine if you have an underactive thyroid can make it worse rather than better. Thanks for suggesting but I now remember why I threw it away after buying it a few years ago!

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  32. Oh I see, Thank you for explaining.

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  33. You have such a stunning face and pleasant disposition, I've never really noticed your hair. You're gorgeous inside and out and I'm glad you don't let anyone tell you otherwise. :)

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  34. Hi,
    This is only my second or third post here, but I feel compelled to comment...
    I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism aged 10, and used to have hair so thick as to break hair bands just like yours. Today, I cannot help but notice other women's hair, and I keep on longing for that thick, lush, shining hair I used to have...
    My hair grows relatively fast, thankfully, but also very patchy and there is very little of it left. When a ponytail used to measure a good 5/7cm in diameter, taking effort to wrap an elastic twice around it, it's now about the diameter of a thumb and goes 4 or 5 times through the elastic band... It also seems to split much more and is starting to feel like hay, a very unpleasant feeling when I think back to the last time I had lush hair, age 12, 10 years ago...
    I hope this post doesn't sound like I'm throwing myself a pity party, I just want to let you know that I know what you feel, including facing the comments of people. It's like they think we don't look at ourselves in a mirror even once, and every time it makes one think about the loss. I am still mourning mine, even 10 years later...
    I sincerely hope that people would stop making such comments, to you, to me, to anyone who suffers from hair loss or any other physical "loss" (or gain... Do people think we don't notice it if our jeans feel tight or loose on us?).
    I also hope you may one day find an effective (and non life threatening) remedy to this. I've personally tried just about everything there is except for shots, to no avail. So if you DO find something, drop me an email? ;)
    Good luck and take care

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  35. Jasmine, you are a beautiful, smart, kind person. I'm sorry people attack you, I used to be mean when I was younger (I'm not as mean now! I try atleast hehe), and I've paidmy dues--karma's a b*tch! I haven't met you, but you seem like a sweet person, and it would be nice to be friends! Take care, and stay the good person you are! Forget the haters, they have a lot of their own problems and hang-ups! <3

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  36. Jasmine :

    All I can say is BRAVO !!!!! you made your point with education, the right words and showing what a gorgeous person you are !!!!

    I have the same disease so I can understand you, it's been utterly brave from you to write this post !!!

    Take care and don't pay attention to the people that don't have better things to do that insulting others... pity that they don't get a life for they own .......

    Lots of love from Spain , Jasmine , you have a friend here !!!

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  37. @Miss*H thank you for telling be about it, it was very thoughtful x

    @Devi Well if you don't keep smiling, life isn't worth living.

    @sitasrandomthoughts My dear you and I are kindred spirits, it's hard to know that you can't have something
    that everyone else takes for granted. If I have any luck with treatments I'll be shouting it from the rooftops!

    @Fabian glad to hear that you've seen the better way to communicate! It was brave of you to be honest
    about it, thank you.

    @pitujones thank you for your comment, good to know you are there.

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  38. Hey Jasmine,

    Whoever wrote that idiotic comment to you is a total moron!!
    Thank you for being so honest in your post, you really are an inspiration to people like me :)

    take care and keep smiling babes :)

    Seema

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  39. Hi I too have hypothyroidism it was daignosed about a year ago in a pre-op blood test,Im 40yrs old.My hair was falling out as well Ive never had very thick hair to start with,but it is quite long and long strands were falling out.Luckily Im now on thyroid medication and it has stopped,it does start again sometimes for no reason though.I know how people can be,they are so thoughtless and cruel.Ive given up worrying about mine and am dyeing it crazy colours like pink and bright red lol.
    Ignore these people im sure they are far from perfect themselves.

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  40. i know what this is like and there are things that can be done about it! after i gave birth my thyroid diped (liked most women postpreg)and i shed hair like crazy....seriuosly i was hoovering up layers of my hair from the floor for at least 1.5 years and well actually it did get a little better here and there but it was really herbs that helped me get my hormones in check!otherwise i think i would have gona abit bald a bit faster.....p.s along side the hypothyroidism may be a kind of hyperandrogensim which may lead to male pattern hair loss! because your eyes brows are so lush and they are usually the first to go in myxodema so maybe its to do with your testosterone levels? like do you have body hair cos i noticed mine increased yet my head hair was falling!

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  41. Jasmine,

    You're a beautiful person inside and out. So talented in what you do. I hope you didn't mind me sending you a message a few days ago, i'm currently losing my hair too due to stress!!! I'm slowly getting better but it is still very noticeable. So, i decided to use a clip on bang, as well as a bit of toppik, thought you might want to try it. It works great on me and there's no maintenance at all. Please keep positive and keep doing more make up tutorials. love your work!

    ciao
    Bugsymj

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  42. Hi Jasmine, I love your channel, thank you so much for sharing with us all your tips ! I've just read your "article" and I was very touched. Have you already tried essential oils to prevent yourself, even a little, from hair loss ? I use them a lot and after some research on hypothyroidism, I found so many useful essential oils !!! I'm French so thoses sites and blogs are in French, but I'm sure you can find similar ones in English. Here are some links if you can understand French and/or if you have friends who can read French :

    http://forum.doctissimo.fr/sante/calvitie-cheveux/traitement-aromatherapie-evolution-sujet_153534_1.htm

    http://www.forum-thyroide.net/index.html?http://www.forum-thyroide.net/phpBB/ftopic19739.html

    I think the best thing would be to visit an aromatherapist (??) and also check all the advice of people suffering from the same disease. I know some essential oils are prohibited when you have a hypothyroidism.

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